Global Warming and Josey Wales

Can we really tie Global Warming to the story of a family guy turned Confederate Guerilla turned Western hero? I reckon so… If you’re not like the rest of us, who have seen The Outlaw Josey Wales many times, just watch it once and you’ll soon be like the rest of us. Several scenes bring Global Warming science and Global Warming salesmen to mind.

Clint Eastwood’s movie (from the novel, Gone to Texas) has a stereotypical snake oil salesman and an old Indian as supporting characters. The two meet in a dusty frontier town. The snake oil salesman addresses a crowd of settlers with bottles of elixir on a traveling stand. The somewhat-wizened old Indian walks past on the wooden sidewalk: The salesman tries using the Indian as a prop to sell his potion to the people.

Before we recall the scene, try to picture Al Gore in a white linen suit with brown suede trim and matching top hat. Picture anyone you know with a lick of sense as the somewhat-wizened old Indian. Of course, you’ll also need to consider the possibility that Global Warming turned Climate Change has always been and continues to be snake oily.

So, there is Al Gore/Snake Oil Salesman pitching the theory that whatever is in the bottle will cure whatever ails you…for the price of the bottle.
Somewhat-wizened old Indian: What’s in it?
Al Gore/Snake Oil Salesman: I don’t know, really, various things…I’m just the salesman.
Indian: You drink it.
AG/SOS: What’s that?
Indian: You drink it. (Walks off)
AG/SOS (To the crowd): What can you expect from a non-believer…? (The contents of the bottle should not be challenged…or inquired upon.)

Al Gore can’t explain what’s in Global Warming science any more than a snake oil salesman can spell out the ingredients in his bottle. I wouldn’t take a spoonful from either one, let alone have them shoving it down my throat; all the while telling me it’s a life-saving emergency.

Earlier in the film, when Josey Wales first meets the old Indian they quickly decide they’re not a threat to each other (again the lick of sense comes into play).
Wales: Do you have any food?
Indian (holding up a red crystal): I’ve got this piece of rock candy. But it’s not for eatin’…it’s just for lookin’ through.

Does the Copenhagen crowd know that Global Warming science, like rock candy, has no sustenance—that all of us somewhat-wizened old Indians won’t bite—that we’re just lookin’ right through it…and them?

Finally, but much earlier in the film, Josey Wales meets the snake oil salesman. Wales sits on his horse, a wounded friend in tow. The salesman stands beside the horse and proclaims his elixir “works on just about anything…” Josey Wales asks, “How is it on stains?” just before he spits a stream of tobacco juice onto the nearest white linen lapel.

Al Gore and his ilk stand before our horse with a name: America. They keep trying to convince us that giving away our wealth will cool an already-cooling planet, or stop the climate from…changing. They don’t notice all the people with a lick of sense sitting on that horse. They seem surprised we would spit on the idea of anti-capitalism turned science; that we would spit smack-dab in the middle of their white linen lapels.